I’m usually a very happy person, I’m really not all that interesting or adventurous, or even that inquisitive. I don’t seek out new interesting classes to take or plan friends birthday parties. I do love to have a dinner party at times.

I have lived here in a cottage for seven years and now my landlord is selling (???maybe) the property, so has asked me to leave. Im a senior and I have a reasonable income but the rents are so high where i live I am stymied. And the apartments are not looking good; so i tried for Senior housing and found a perfect place; and in my mind I was eligible according to my monthly income x 12 which I thought was my yearly income. well that was not the case. I had withdrawn money from an annuity to pay some large bills and that counted as income so with all added up I was a little over the acceptable high AMI (average Median Income). I was devastated and sunk into a paralyzing depression so that I can’t even look at apartments without starting to shake and teeth chattering and feeling so cold especially my feet and hands.

I am certain I will get over this bump; I will find the place of my dreams and be happy again …for awhile.; but this is life and I’ve been very fortunate to hit few bumps in the road during my time here.

However DEPRESSION is really hard to fathom and I do have more insight into what people who say they are depressed are going through. it is never ending and all consuming , there may be bits of pleasure and there is a whole lot of faking pleasantness , thing it on, too, while deep down all you can think of is your problem. Ive ignored other friends problems they are dealing with. When I start to feel a bit better then I remember oh no so and  so is going through cancer Treatments and so an so needs a new car, and so and so  also has to bury a cat they’ve loved for 14 years and another just got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer! Its all relative and its all life as we know it.

I finally came to bottom and thought I couldn’t go on, sick with worry and unable to stop the panic attacks every morning so I wrote my feelings to my brother and he came immediately to take me to hospital for medication. I feel only a little better but the antidepressant hasn’t kicked in till 2 weeks after started. So here i am depressed Medicated and still unable to fathom filing applications on line. So many mistakes and then reasons I can’t file it due to leaving something out. Try again and the same thing. How does one put your employer if you’re retired????

I personally know so many elders who have lost homes due to selling of houses and being evicted after 30 years; some were homeless for over a year, one living in her car over a year. one house sitting and wandering from place to place with their personal belongings and paying for storage of their furniture which they pray they will need once they find a new home. Another one going house to house. I also see many elders helping other elders.

This is supposed to be the best country but it really isn’t. It may be for the wealthy who can afford 4 houses, Florida ,NewYork, Palm Springs and La Jolla. they don’t have to worry about health care or their car breaking down and no money for repairs and they don’t have to even think about the poor who are barely existing

The country was aware of the numbers of elderly that would be here in 2019 and that  they might need help with housing and medical bills,etc. We were not on the ball.

I think young people are feeling the same housing crunch as the elders are.

Thats my say so there!

6/23/2019

Update I was accepted at the place I mentioned in this blog because they raised the AMI and therefore I was within their parameters of  annual income. I am moved and it didn’t cost as much as I had expected it would for movers and deposit and first and last months rent. I am settled in and after more than  2 weeks of moving I am much more myself so stopped taking the antidepressant. I am so much better but the housing problem foe seniors and for young people continues. its something we all have to deal with.

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The BEST can opener in the world!

   I was having a great deal of trouble using my old can opener (had it for years). It wouldn’t penetrate the lid properly and then it wouldn’t engage when I turned the crank which was a chore in itself.

    Now My Mom resorted to an electric can opener which worked fine for her but when I tried to use it I never could get it to work. I also wanted no more things on my counters(i don’t even have a microwave).

    I happened to mention this little irritation to my friend Sylvia and she said lets go to Target…they have the best one and she knows because her daughter has MS and also had trouble opening cans. Off we went and there on that entire wall of gadgets was a Kitchenaid can opener so I got it and from the first use I was smiling like a child whom had just tied her shoe. It engages immediately and the crank is so easy to turn.

I don’t know how to show you a photo of it and I don’t know why the type size has changed?

Photo on 2013-01-05 at 23.39

I have had the signs that this was coming on and a lot of people in the Valley (San Geronimo Valley) have been snuffling and coughing and sputtering for the past 2 weeks at least. Well I got it and last week I had a dry cough but when there was sputum It had a metallic taste. As a retired nurse I should know what that means but a lot of my knowledge has left my brain and especially since I let my license laps.

Well I thought Im not going to let this stop me from going out to breakfast with friends and then to see Mr Gaga in the afternoon but on advice from my landlady (she’s so smart) I am canceling all that to stay home and knit and rest and netti pot.

I usually have so many things to choose from to do but they are on hold and I hope I will be better by Sunday Easter for the picnic planned in a California Park.

Cough cough, Sputter sputter, Snuff, snuff! Wheres my Netti pot?

I lived in massachusetts for 10 years where they require recycling of bottles by making you pay a fee for each bottle you buy. They also have recycle machines right at the grocery store where you can return these bottles and receive a ticket to redeem the money with your next purchase. Very convenient. When one knows she is going to do the shopping you just be certain to put your glass and cans in the car so you can get your redemption ticket for the amount of the recycles.

I am very happy California recycles but the consumer is paying at the grocers and then putting then in the recycle bins and never getting credit for those glass and cans you purchased. It doesn’t seem quite fair to me. I tried to recycle when I first came back to CA but the recycle place is so far away and the amounts I recycled were so minor that they gave me the cash but what a hassle.

Why don’t Safeway and Whole foods and other grocery stores have the machines to recycle at the source? Just saying!

That’s the title on the instructions for this blog site and so I thought a very apt title for my first blog. I am not a professional writer so I will blog about things that go through my head every day. Things that make me wonder , things that really irritate me ( maybe I will find them frivolous once I put onto paper) and things that impress me about others so much that they become my heroes.

I do find others blogs very interesting and so maybe you will find interest in what I have to say too.

I have a couple of complaints to get off my chest right away. First: the “How to open” instructions on boxes of cereal, soap powder, rice, quinoa etc. It usually says press in and lift up. I can’t even seem to get started with the press in instructions. I press in and press in and press in and the box collapses in but the tab doesn’t go in. SOOO the lift up instruction is useless. Do you know what I’m saying? AS I’ve aged even opening a twist off top is a challenge. Maybe because I have thumb rings. My hand turns around but the top stays nicely closed. I tell you I feel better already just putting this down on paper. Its like the father in Love In a Cold Climate who writes a persons name down on paper and then puts it in a locked drawer of his desk if he is angry at that person. Satisfaction!

Second:  I buy a nectarine and I used to score it all around the diameter to the pit and then twist and the fruit came cleanly away from the pit. Not anymore! Even if I eat one like an apple there is this mass of fruit that clings to the pit leaving your hands all juicy and you feel as if you are missing some of the fruit. Does this bother anyone else out there?

I think that is all for my first blog but I will try to be more positive on my next attempt. I really do feel better though!