I’m usually a very happy person, I’m really not all that interesting or adventurous, or even that inquisitive. I don’t seek out new interesting classes to take or plan friends birthday parties. I do love to have a dinner party at times.

I have lived here in a cottage for seven years and now my landlord is selling (???maybe) the property, so has asked me to leave. Im a senior and I have a reasonable income but the rents are so high where i live I am stymied. And the apartments are not looking good; so i tried for Senior housing and found a perfect place; and in my mind I was eligible according to my monthly income x 12 which I thought was my yearly income. well that was not the case. I had withdrawn money from an annuity to pay some large bills and that counted as income so with all added up I was a little over the acceptable high AMI (average Median Income). I was devastated and sunk into a paralyzing depression so that I can’t even look at apartments without starting to shake and teeth chattering and feeling so cold especially my feet and hands.

I am certain I will get over this bump; I will find the place of my dreams and be happy again …for awhile.; but this is life and I’ve been very fortunate to hit few bumps in the road during my time here.

However DEPRESSION is really hard to fathom and I do have more insight into what people who say they are depressed are going through. it is never ending and all consuming , there may be bits of pleasure and there is a whole lot of faking pleasantness , thing it on, too, while deep down all you can think of is your problem. Ive ignored other friends problems they are dealing with. When I start to feel a bit better then I remember oh no so and  so is going through cancer Treatments and so an so needs a new car, and so and so  also has to bury a cat they’ve loved for 14 years and another just got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer! Its all relative and its all life as we know it.

I finally came to bottom and thought I couldn’t go on, sick with worry and unable to stop the panic attacks every morning so I wrote my feelings to my brother and he came immediately to take me to hospital for medication. I feel only a little better but the antidepressant hasn’t kicked in till 2 weeks after started. So here i am depressed Medicated and still unable to fathom filing applications on line. So many mistakes and then reasons I can’t file it due to leaving something out. Try again and the same thing. How does one put your employer if you’re retired????

I personally know so many elders who have lost homes due to selling of houses and being evicted after 30 years; some were homeless for over a year, one living in her car over a year. one house sitting and wandering from place to place with their personal belongings and paying for storage of their furniture which they pray they will need once they find a new home. Another one going house to house. I also see many elders helping other elders.

This is supposed to be the best country but it really isn’t. It may be for the wealthy who can afford 4 houses, Florida ,NewYork, Palm Springs and La Jolla. they don’t have to worry about health care or their car breaking down and no money for repairs and they don’t have to even think about the poor who are barely existing

The country was aware of the numbers of elderly that would be here in 2019 and that  they might need help with housing and medical bills,etc. We were not on the ball.

I think young people are feeling the same housing crunch as the elders are.

Thats my say so there!

6/23/2019

Update I was accepted at the place I mentioned in this blog because they raised the AMI and therefore I was within their parameters of  annual income. I am moved and it didn’t cost as much as I had expected it would for movers and deposit and first and last months rent. I am settled in and after more than  2 weeks of moving I am much more myself so stopped taking the antidepressant. I am so much better but the housing problem foe seniors and for young people continues. its something we all have to deal with.